Disappointment is in the Eye of the Beholder

People are flawed and they will eventually disappoint you.  If you let them.   Over the years I've done my share of hero worshiping, from celebrities to people I know.  They could have been a talented actor, effective politician,  insightful minister,  excellent parent or a happily married couple and I would really look up to them.  Inevitably, I would get a glimpse of an aspect of their personality or an action they had taken that did not fit with my image of them.  It would completely change how I felt about them, how I regarded their accomplishments or took their advice--even if this incongruous bit of information didn't pertain to the original reason I admired them.  If they cheated on their wife then they couldn't possible run the country; if an actor was caught cheating on their taxes I may not have watched their movies.  I was constantly being disappointed in my role models and was starting to think that everyone was just full of crap. Nice, I know.  

I wish I had an epiphany to share, an entertaining story of how my perspective changed.   The truth is I don't remember when I could see the whole person and value every part of them.  Even the flaws.  However, I do know the moment when I realized that my perspective had changed.  A spiritual, insightful woman that I admire greatly was recanting a situation where they got very upset at another driver on the road.  And this lovely, radiant being flipped the other driver the bird.  Now I'm not saying that act was admirable--she wouldn't either.  It was in that moment that I realized instead of losing my esteem she gained even more.  It is in working with our flaws that we do our best and most honest work.  And she is still lovely, radiant, spiritual and insightful.   Go figure.  

Being a graduate of Penn State, Joe Paterno was certainly a man that I admired.  He was so good at his job and loved the school and set high standards for his players.  The revelations over the past few months have been so disheartening, and yes, I wish that he had done more in the situation that presented itself to him.  But Joe Paterno was so much better than that one mistake, no matter how large.  We all are.  I met him once, and he inadvertently taught me a lesson.  I was a photographer for the yearbook and it was summer break I think in 1988.  I was spending it in Avalon, on the Jersey shore selling beach passes.  I always had a camera with me just in case.  One late afternoon the beach was deserted but I couldn't leave until 5:30.  Down the beach in a grey sweatshirt and what looked like boxers shorts walks Joe Paterno all by himself.  That was the only day all summer I left my camera at home and missed what would've been one of the photos of the year at Penn State.  I introduced myself and he was very gracious.  I've rarely been without a camera since that day.  Although a photograph would have been amazing, I still have a very clear image in my mind of that day, and that man, and I'm glad that the image has not been completely distorted.