My son told me today that his health teacher taught their class that they should never "have sex" they should always "make love." The teacher followed this up with, "Sex always leads to one of two things: sadness or poor decisions." My response: "If that were true there would be a lot of depressed people walking around." It is a hard job she has; I sympathize with the difficult task she's been given. She's trying to keep them physically and emotionally safe, and I appreciate that. Encouraging good decision making is a good thing. However I think that trying to shape a particular attitude about sexuality is intrusive.
Even though I put quotation marks around the teacher's statements, it is probable that these quotes aren't entirely accurate. They are filtered through a 13 year old boy's brain. It's likely he heard the word sex and then every ninth word after that. But I'm concerned about the message that is getting through, regardless of the original wording. There is absolutely nothing wrong with having sex. It can actually be a lot of fun, and it does not mean that you do not love or respect each other if you'd rather have sex than make love, at least some of the time. You can show your love other ways like making them ice cream sundaes and hand holding in the movies. I'm pretty sure the only sadness the next day would be wondering when the next time will be. I'm not in a hurry for any of the boys to rush into their sex lives, but I don't like the fact that a woman is already putting rules on what it should be like. They will have enough women trying to do that in the years to come. No pun intended.
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