Up a Tree

With long thin but deceptively strong limbs my youngest son is a natural climber.  A monkey even.  The rest of us aren't as comfortable up in the trees.  My three sons and I had the opportunity to piggyback onto a high ropes course challenge that a bunch of girl scouts were doing.  I was pretty impressed that these girls aged 10 to 16 would face this climbing challenge and zip line ride--I certainly wouldn't have as a young girl.  I didn't even really want to do it as a grown woman, but sometimes you should do things just because you don't want to do it.  I'm not sure why my two eldest agreed to do it, I'm making a mental note to ask them tomorrow.  I do know at least one of them does not feel the need to do that ever again.  Fair enough.

I wouldn't say that this was about "conquering" a fear of heights for me because I did a high ropes course a few years ago, and I faced that fear then.  I wouldn't say it was conquered though.  Approached, perhaps.  I wanted to do it again to be able to acknowledge and actively neutralize the fear. Feel the fear and be able to act anyway.  Climbing the first tree by grasping U-shaped spikes I was temporarily paralysed by doubt that I could continue.  The pegs seemed so far apart, I couldn't imagine how my children had managed.  This was not as easy as I thought it would be so with a burst of will, I resigned myself to pushing through.  This required many deep breaths.  After making my way across a tightrope which seemed to last an eternity but the video proved it was only about 2 minutes, I was at the perch ready to take off through the sunlight dappled Sycamore trees on the zip line.  In the past letting go was the terrifying part.  Trusting.  But not this time.  I felt like an owl soaring through her territory, at home and free.